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LITERATE APE
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Featured
ICE is Not Nice / Make Them Go Away
Oct 21, 2025
Elizabeth Harper
ICE is Not Nice / Make Them Go Away
Oct 21, 2025
Elizabeth Harper
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Oct 21, 2025
Elizabeth Harper

 ARCHIVE OF ARTICLES

 

I Believe… [The Algorithm Never Forgives]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/28/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/28/25

I Believe… [The Algorithm Never Forgives]

...that the algorithm is our new God—omniscient, invisible, and deeply invested in selling me socks I already bought. It knows my shame, my lust, my 3am spiral into videos titled ‘Top Ten Failed Soviet Amusement Parks’. It knows I clicked. It remembers. It doesn’t forgive.

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Live Sharp or Die Dull
Don Hall Don Hall 7/26/25 Don Hall Don Hall 7/26/25

Live Sharp or Die Dull

Bleed for the truth or rot in your own politeness.

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I Believe… [Timeshare in Hell]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/21/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/21/25

I Believe… [Timeshare in Hell]

...that capitalism is a casino rigged by drunk croupiers where the prize is a timeshare in Hell and the only way to win is to die with enough debt they can’t repossess your skeleton.

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When the Struggle Ends
Don Hall Don Hall 7/16/25 Don Hall Don Hall 7/16/25

When the Struggle Ends

Life is always about to end. One day it will. Before that, it’s just loss in installments.

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I Believe… [Patricide, Anyone?]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/14/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 7/14/25

I Believe… [Patricide, Anyone?]

...that few things scar and clarify the soul more than witnessing the death of your parent. If anything screams “YOU, TOO, WILL DIE” it is that experience. How you die becomes a choice but only once you’ve chosen how you live.

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I Believe… [God’s Yes, And…]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/30/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/30/25

I Believe… [God’s Yes, And…]

...that God exists, but only as a sarcastic improv comic trapped inside a lava lamp, muttering, “Yes, and?” every time we beg for clarity.

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The Beautiful Bastardry of Consequence
Don Hall Don Hall 6/26/25 Don Hall Don Hall 6/26/25

The Beautiful Bastardry of Consequence

We are all trapeze artists swinging between “this is incredible” and “what fresh hell is this?”

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I Believe… [Illusion of Choice]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/23/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/23/25

I Believe… [Illusion of Choice]

...that most people don’t actually want freedom—they want the illusion of choice between two algorithm-approved options and a coupon code for 15% off regret.

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I Believe… [Keeping the Tip]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/16/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/16/25

I Believe… [Keeping the Tip]

...that if being a prostitute is just ‘sex work’ then why is it awkward if your manager at the local Starbucks offers you a raise for a blow job? It’s just work, right? “I’ll have a Chai Latte and a rim job. I’ll keep the tip.”

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Hope Has a Headboard
Don Hall Don Hall 6/12/25 Don Hall Don Hall 6/12/25

Hope Has a Headboard

I might be shattered, but I’m still going to be comfortable. I might be alone, but I’m not going to sleep in a coffin.

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I Believe… [Fairy Tale Finance Bros]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/9/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/9/25

I Believe… [Fairy Tale Finance Bros]

...that the perfect fairy tale that exemplifies the cryptocurrency movement is ‘Jack and Beanstalk.’ “Hey. Gimme that valuable animal you own and I’ll give you some magic beans.”

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I Like to Watch | A Tale of Two Cities (with Dancing)
Don Hall, I Like to Watch Don Hall 6/3/25 Don Hall, I Like to Watch Don Hall 6/3/25

I Like to Watch | A Tale of Two Cities (with Dancing)

Let's compare a symphony to a saxophone solo in a dive bar. Both are beautiful. Both are necessary. Both are true.

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I Believe… [Hugging Ambiguity]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/2/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 6/2/25

I Believe… [Hugging Ambiguity]

...that we are all trapeze artists swinging between “this is incredible” and “what fresh hell is this?” Maturity and wisdom is embracing ambiguity as your co-pilot instead of trying to stuff it in the trunk.

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If the Art Is Important, Now Is the Time to Do It for Free
Don Hall Don Hall 5/28/25 Don Hall Don Hall 5/28/25

If the Art Is Important, Now Is the Time to Do It for Free

When the world is burning, you don’t sell the water. You spray it everywhere and hope some of it catches.

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I Believe… [Inconvenient Kindness]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/26/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/26/25

I Believe… [Inconvenient Kindness]

...that kindness is only virtuous when it’s inconvenient. Anyone can be nice when the cameras are on and the tip jar is full. Try being kind when it costs you something — your time, your pride, your precious moral high ground. That’s character. The rest is theater.I Believe…

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How I Learned About Optimism from the Pantheon of Low Budget Film
Don Hall, I Like to Watch Don Hall 5/21/25 Don Hall, I Like to Watch Don Hall 5/21/25

How I Learned About Optimism from the Pantheon of Low Budget Film

You don’t become optimistic because life is good. You become optimistic so that life can be.

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I Believe… [Freedom is a Dirty Word]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/19/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/19/25

I Believe… [Freedom is a Dirty Word]

...that freedom makes people nervous. It upends structure, pokes at authority, and refuses to follow the goddamn script. It’s the wrench in the gears, the chaos in the order, the idea that you might not need permission to exist exactly as you are.

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The Bloat, the Noise, and the Narcissist: Why We Don’t Need Half the Shit We Think We Do
Don Hall Don Hall 5/14/25 Don Hall Don Hall 5/14/25

The Bloat, the Noise, and the Narcissist: Why We Don’t Need Half the Shit We Think We Do

The world around you is a circus designed to keep you juggling cheeseburgers, TikToks, and desperate thirst traps until you collapse.

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I Believe… [Boundaries]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/12/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/12/25

I Believe… [Boundaries]

...that without a strong ethical boundary dictating your life decisions, the invitation to slippery slopes and relinquishing autonomy is a Hallmark card designed to disappear into the mud.

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I Believe… [Latest Version]
Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/5/25 Don Hall, I Believe... Don Hall 5/5/25

I Believe… [Latest Version]

...that reinvention is not about becoming something you’re not—it’s about becoming the latest version of what you are.

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