I Believe… [Keeping the Tip]

...that most people aren’t monsters, just exhausted extras in their own low-budget remake of Falling Down. They don’t want to hurt you. They just forgot how to be gentle. And I believe if we all screamed once a week in public, the world might actually calm the hell down.

...that we often hear that behind every great man is an even greater woman but no one says that behind every horrible man is an even more horrible woman. Double standards in ideological marketing are the most fun!

...that if being a prostitute is just ‘sex work’ then why is it awkward if your manager at the local Starbucks offers you a raise for a blow job? It’s just work, right? “I’ll have a Chai Latte and a rim job. I’ll keep the tip.”

...that with waves of advancing technology, the image of a bunch of apes confronted with a smartphone and, after putting it in their mouth and banging it on a rock, eventually sticking it in their asses for sexual pleasure seems far too likely.

...that vegans are the single most despised activist group which is remarkable in the presence of anti-abortion groups, transactivists in favor of dudes in drag beating the shit out of women in sports, and Flat Earthers.