I Believe… [Soul Sterilization]
...that technology is a brilliant liar—it convinces us we’re connected while quietly sterilizing our souls.
I Believe… [Letting Go]
...that knowing when to let go of people who have already let go of you is good. Actually letting them go and moving on is better.
I Believe… [Neo-Inquisitioners]
...that in an age where every word is a potential weapon and every hurt feeling a crime scene, the loudest moralists aren’t protecting the vulnerable—they’re auditioning for the Inquisition.
I Believe… [We’re Not Machines]
...that joy is found in the act of building something useless: kites in winter, elaborate cocktail garnishes for tap water, or a paper-mâché bust of your ex-boss. Useless things remind us we’re not machines.

The Democracy of a Thousand Voices
Why Free Speech Must Be Absolute, Why Assassination Always Fails, and Why Rage Isn’t Winning
I Believe… [The Ironic Right]
...that the irony that the Right is reveling in their reclaimed permission to say the word ‘retard’ and yet most of them are ‘tards is staggering.
I Believe… [Not My Tempo]
...that the fact that my staff sees JK Simmons’s performance in “Whiplash” as a ‘comically evil version of me’ says a lot about my approach to management.

The Left Can’t Dance If It Keeps Tripping Over Its Own Moral Shoelaces
Progressives have the best playlist, the best snacks, and the best costumes—so why does every party feel like a lecture series with snacks?
I Believe… [New Mantra]
...that my next tattoo will be something along the lines of “Expect Nothing. Hope for Everything.”

Curiosity is a Muscle to Build
Hit the gym. You’re getting soft again.
I Believe… [Manufactured Happiness]
...that happiness isn’t found, it’s manufactured—like bootleg mixtapes in the back of a Pontiac in 1985, hissing but priceless.
I Believe… [Just Call It Gambling, Already]
...that a casino is the poor man’s Wall Street. Cryptocurrency is the libertarian’s casino.

Discomfort Is the Only Honest Coach
The anti-heroes of the 1970's understood the challenge.
I Believe… [Corporate Speak]
...that the phrase “Just loop me in” is corporate code for “I want to handcuff myself to your brain until one of us dies.”

The Stereotypical Thoughts of a GenX Dude
I’d suggest that racism is far less evident in the words we say and the stereotypes we embrace than the actions we engage in because of those words.
I Believe… [AI is Coming]
...that AI won’t just replace jobs—it’ll replace purpose. And when people lose that, they don’t riot—they just quietly stop existing in any way that matters.
I Believe… [Learning About Sex]
...that most teenage boys learn about sex from porn and most teenage girls learn about it from trauma and somewhere in between is a guidance counselor with a pamphlet and a panic disorder.

Immortality Is a Dirty Lie (But You Gotta Believe It Anyway)
Believing you’ll live forever doesn’t have to mean eternal consciousness. It can mean leaving dents.

Deciphering the Codes
The words we use to describe the world become more complicated as we cease to accept the social contract of common understanding.

NOT SO LEFT
There’s something grotesquely liberating about standing in the political space just shy of the tofu-scented gulag of the modern American Left.