...that, while the fascination with looking younger than people think you should look is a narcissistic vanity, it’s still pretty cool.

...that you can’t go back to who you were but you can go back to where you belong.

...that land acknowledgments are a collective pat on the back for people who want to seem aware without breaking a sweat. Trust me—money or land would mean more.

...that, with Ozempic making the stars of Wicked look like they are on heroin, it’s safe to say that body positivity is as over as DEI.

...that having ChatGpt roast you is a wonderful window into how potentially full of shit you are. It is a dispassionate revealer of how you appear to the online world and stings while pulling the veil aside.

...that ownership and use of Googly Eyes as a man approaching 60 is a sign of an absolute refusal to grow old. Older, sure. Not old.

...that, if taken through the lens of truck stops and gas stations throughout the Midwest, Reese’s has taken over the world.

...that the most body positive corporations on the planet are McDonald’s, Frito-Lay, and Kraft.

...that my favorite part of Love Actually (which, mind you, is like declaring my favorite part of a Sizzler sald bar) is the story about the aging rockstar who realizes he’d rather spend Christmas with his loyal friend than party with Elton John.

...that good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement.

...that intense and deep aren’t the same thing even if you’ve convinced yourself they are. Intense is momentary and fleeting; deep is the result of time and energy.

...that few things are more appealing than leftover banquet platters.

...that, when coming in and making sweeping changes in an organization, it’s best to Miley Cyrus that shit and wrecking ball the place.

...that some absence makes the heart grow fonder; too much absence makes the heart forget.

...that music, like sex, sports, and theater, is best enjoyed live.

...that among the worst rationales for voting, the vote for spite is right up at the top.

...that the people you encounter whose very existence challenges your worldview are an opportunity to expand rather than contract your empathy and common understanding.

...that anticipating something wonderful is often more fun than the wonderful thing. If the two match up, that’s the juice, gang.

...that if anyone in the country is guilty of eating dogs and cats they all live in the Appalachians.