Don Hall 5/11/20 Don Hall 5/11/20

I Believe… [Class Warfare Prime]

…that it’s not class warfare if you’re still ordering things from Amazon.

Don Hall 5/4/20 Don Hall 5/4/20

I Believe… [Equal Opportunity Assholes]

I believe… that an added benefit of social media in Vegas is that I can spend a solid thirty minutes every morning blocking both Critical Race Theorists and MAGA turds in equal measure!

Don Hall 4/27/20 Don Hall 4/27/20

I Believe… [The Pandemic 15 Is Truly American]

I believe… that only in America can we experience a pandemic followed by massive unemployment and restaurants closed down and still fucking gain weight.

Don Hall 4/20/20 Don Hall 4/20/20

I Believe… [It’s the Flags You Fly That Brand You a Dipshit]

I believe… that no matter how righteous your protest, as soon as you display that Confederate flag and those swastikas, we all know you’re an asshole.

Don Hall 4/13/20 Don Hall 4/13/20

I Believe… [More Than Social Distancing]

…that in addition to giving each other six feet of distance physically, we might also consider giving each other a bit of judgement distance as well. None of us really know what the fuck we’re doing in this period of history and everyone is trying to do the best they can with limited (and sometimes skewed) information.

Don Hall 4/6/20 Don Hall 4/6/20

I Believe… [Corporations Are Shitty People]

…that many Americans are discovering for the first time that corporations despite their legal designation are not people. Or if they are, they’re the kind of people you can’t count on in a crisis.

Don Hall 3/30/20 Don Hall 3/30/20

I Believe… [Del Taco Kicks Ass]

I believe… that reducing restaurants to take-out or drive-thru genuinely focuses your attention on the quality of the food sans the distractions of venue. For the record, Del Taco is far superior to Taco Bell. #rosecoloredcoronavirusglasses

Don Hall 3/23/20 Don Hall 3/23/20

I Believe… [Crisis Management]

I believe… that how you behave in a crisis will determine how well you do once it’s passed.

Don Hall 3/16/20 Don Hall 3/16/20

I Believe… [Toilet Paper? Really?]

I believe… that buying toilet paper in bulk during a health crisis may be just shy of buying duct tape in bulk prior to Y2K in complete kneejerk stupidity. It’s like people hoarding air fresheners in prep for a hurricane.

Don Hall 3/9/20 Don Hall 3/9/20

I Believe… [Geriatric Politics]

I believe… that the presidential race will look like two old men fighting over a parking spot for their matching Mercedes. The undercard should be Nancy Pelosi and Judge Judy wrestling in the grocery store over the last jar of pickles.

Don Hall 3/2/20 Don Hall 3/2/20

I Believe… [Thanks, Harvey!]

…that all of the Oscar winners who effusively thanked Harvey Weinstein publicly for his contribution to their success will unlikely be visiting him prison. Wonder what they’ll do with the statues?

Don Hall 2/24/20 Don Hall 2/24/20

I Believe… [Disneyland is What We All Need for a Moment]

I believe… that all it takes to shake off the calcified crust of living in a world of horrors is a day at Disneyland and a belief that despite our flaws there can and should be joy.

Don Hall 2/17/20 Don Hall 2/17/20

I Believe [Gaslighting Johnny Depp]

…that while not a definitive rebuke to #MeToo, if you believed Amber Heard’s accusations against Johnny Depp, you got played by an asshole using a movement for her own personal gain.

Don Hall 2/10/20 Don Hall 2/10/20

I Believe… [A Lightly Worn Hat]

…that like a character in an improvised scene, a job should be treated like a lightly worn hat, instantly removed to reveal the true self whenever necessary.

Don Hall 2/3/20 Don Hall 2/3/20

I Believe… [Booooooooobs….]

…that there is a disconnect between the culture of #MeToo and the culture of bikini model influencers and I’d elucidate but my brain is addled by all the boooooooobs…

Don Hall 1/27/20 Don Hall 1/27/20

I Believe… [The Social Media Blackout AI]

I believe… that Facebook and Twitter should have an AI that prevents the posting of false information, rebukes bullying of any sort, and immediately deletes complaints of persecution. In an instant social media would be rid of Trump, Fox News, twenty-year-old women of all races, and the Woke.

Don Hall 1/20/20 Don Hall 1/20/20

I Believe… [How Many Passwords Must I Remember?]

…that if Windows was a more secure platform you wouldn’t have to change your fucking work passwords so goddamned often.

Don Hall 1/13/20 Don Hall 1/13/20

I Believe… [Both Can Be Right]

…that Soleimani was a terrorist monster who deserved to be killed and Trumpenstein is a horrible man deserving of impeachment and removal from office. Both can be true so quit bending yourself into pretzels in existential crisis.

Don Hall 1/6/20 Don Hall 1/6/20

I Believe… [The Ladder of Secular Religiosity]

I believe… that if you believe it is the System fueled by Evil Other People that is the cause for your lousy lot in life you have started on the first rung of the Ladder of Secular Religiosity. Until you realize the System is you and your myriad of interconnected choices, get ready for the zealotry ride of your life.

Don Hall 12/30/19 Don Hall 12/30/19

I Believe… [Screaming at Spiders Doesn’t Get Them Out of the House]

I believe… that idealism and passion aren’t solutions. Without them, solutions cannot be created but alone they represent the kind of pointless emotional response that screaming at a spider does.