Thinking About Bipolar Rage After Watching “Angry Elephants Attack Animals, Wildly and Savagely Taking Over” on YouTube
New Political Mascots That Fit the Current Parties
What the hell does an elephant or a mule have to do with either of these parties today? Are elephants dogmatic, rich and selfish? Are mules empathic, secular and over-educated? Not that I know of. Where’s Sir David Attenborough when you need him?
And of course, the above attributes aren’t all that make up the two parties. I suggest, based on a series of less tangible traits, that we find new mascots. I hereby nominate, to represent the Republicans, the bonobo. And to represent the Democrats, the chihuahua.
...that most people don’t actually want freedom—they want the illusion of choice between two algorithm-approved options and a coupon code for 15% off regret.