0
Skip to Content
HOME
Magazine
Events
Podcasts
Bookshelf
LITERATE APE
HOME
Magazine
Events
Podcasts
Bookshelf
LITERATE APE
HOME
Magazine
Events
Podcasts
Bookshelf
Featured
I Believe… [Keeping the Tip]
Jun 16, 2025
Don Hall
I Believe… [Keeping the Tip]
Jun 16, 2025
Don Hall

...that if being a prostitute is just ‘sex work’ then why is it awkward if your manager at the local Starbucks offers you a raise for a blow job? It’s just work, right? “I’ll have a Chai Latte and a rim job. I’ll keep the tip.”

Read More →
Jun 16, 2025
Don Hall

 ARCHIVE OF ARTICLES

 

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 10, 2022
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 7/15/22 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 7/15/22

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of July 10, 2022

Poor Ivanka, Don Jr., and Eric Trump. The wrong parent died.

Read More
2020! - The Zack Snyder Cut
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 12/30/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 12/30/20

2020! - The Zack Snyder Cut

Featuring Jesse Eisenberg as Donald Trump, Ben Affleck as Rudy Giuliani, and Jon Voight as Rush Limbaugh.

Read More
Notes from the Post-it Wall |Week of November 1, 2020
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 11/6/20 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 11/6/20

Notes from the Post-it Wall |Week of November 1, 2020

I look forward to knowing the indisputable results of the presidential election so that we can enjoy our holiday season debating whether “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a rape song or not. (It is. That’s how shit got done in President Truman’s America.)

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Presidential Medal of Rush
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/5/20 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/5/20

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Presidential Medal of Rush

I want my State of the Union speech to melt all the snowflakes across America, like if climate change were a real thing.

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/24/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Trump 2026

Mike Pence had a breakdown last year and moved to Key West and does drag shows under the name Ernest SOHeminGAY!

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Ivanka Washington
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/3/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 7/3/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Ivanka Washington

If I weren’t already married to your mother, I would totally scoop you up and make you my wife. 

Read More
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 17, 2019
David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 2/22/19 David Himmel, Post-It Wall Notes David Himmel 2/22/19

Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 17, 2019

• Forgiveness is not valued enough. And too often, it’s not even attempted. And that’s why we’re doomed.

• I feel a crushing amount of guilt and regret for thinking that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is an attractive person. I feel the same way about Ivanka Trump.

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/20/19

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | National Emergency Task Force

We’re being SUED and then we’ll be SUED again until it goes to the supreme COURT and we win when Kavanaugh’s vote butt CHUGS it in people’s faces.

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The “N” Word
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 8/15/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 8/15/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The “N” Word

Trump: I just want to go on record and say that I have never said the word n#gg#r. 

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - White House Valentine's Day Emergency Meeting
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/14/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 2/14/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - White House Valentine's Day Emergency Meeting

"I’ve been so busy lately. I got up to page five on that memo from the democrats. I vetoed it because it was so boring. Someone needs to tell the democrats to use more graphs. I like wheels."

Read More
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Beautiful Clean Coal!
Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 1/31/18 Joe Janes, Minutes of Our Last Mtg Joe Janes 1/31/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Beautiful Clean Coal!

Trump Coal-Powered Rocket Ships – We’ll put Elon Musk out of business!

Read More

Subscribe

Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates.

We respect your privacy.

Thank you! We’ll only send out ApeMails once or twice a month and w’ll never sell or share the list with marketers.

Literate Ape Press, a 501 (c)(3) Corporation est. 2016

DONATE TO THE APE

Powered by Squarespace