Don Hall 11/5/18 Don Hall 11/5/18

I Believe… [Your Opinion Is Only Really Valuable On Election Day]

…that best reason to go out and vote is to give your voice and opinion an opportunity to contribute to something more than Zuckerberg’s bottom line.

Don Hall 10/29/18 Don Hall 10/29/18

I Believe… [Shaming People is The Least Creative Approach]

…that shaming people for not voting is still shaming people. Persuade them or suffer the consequences of your lack of creative effort.

Don Hall 10/22/18 Don Hall 10/22/18

I Believe… [Can I Just Eat My Omelette?]

…that once you’ve hit a point of notoriety in town when people who know who you are but have never met you already have a negative opinion of you see you in a local restaurant and feel strongly enough about it to make a scene, perhaps its time to run for office.

Don Hall 10/15/18 Don Hall 10/15/18

I Believe… [Doubling Down on Losing]

…that nothing screams “LOSER!” like someone so fully committed to a decades-long losing political strategy that it seems righteous to continue to defend it despite all evidence that demonstrates its ineffectiveness. This includes proponents of both Trickle Down Economics and Identity Politics.

Don Hall 10/8/18 Don Hall 10/8/18

I Believe.. [Maybe They Should've Called It "Turdsie"]

…that, if you’re going to adapt Tootsie for the stage as a musical, perhaps a focus on creating memorable songs, a believable narrative and avoiding a ball peen hammer approach to modernizing it for the #MeToo zeitgeist might be a better way to go.

Don Hall 10/1/18 Don Hall 10/1/18

I Believe… [Go to the Gym Anyway…]

…that the days you really don’t want to go to the gym — making excuses, promising yourself that you’ll fast that day if only you can skip — but do are the days that matter most.

Don Hall 9/24/18 Don Hall 9/24/18

I Believe… [The Real Resistance is Happening on Twitter and Fortnite]

…that feeling anxiety, victimized, or unjustly treated no longer makes you special or interesting. Your many ineffective tweets at @therealDonaldTrump and Fortnite ranking does.

Don Hall 9/17/18 Don Hall 9/17/18

I Believe… [Hurricanes Give CNN Staffers Boners]

…that as horrifying as the latest hurricane is/was, all I can see in my mind’s eye is CNN programmers furiously masturbating (with consent from the female staffers, of course) as the ratings go higher and higher because nothing sells ads more than American disasters.

Don Hall 9/10/18 Don Hall 9/10/18

I Believe… [The Positives of Trump]

…that if there is anything positive about the Trump presidency it is that all of a sudden, more of the citizenry is paying attention to the mechanics of governance and he's making every other president we've ever had look great.

Don Hall 9/3/18 Don Hall 9/3/18

I Believe… [The Popular Kids Were Assholes]

…that our adoration and covetousness for fame is absolutely no different than the quest to be popular in high school. And the popular kids in high school were mostly assholes.

Don Hall 8/27/18 Don Hall 8/27/18

I Believe... [Repentance is Like Shitting in One Hand and Wishing in the Other]

...that human actions are no more evil than a hurricane’s. We assign evil to problems as if repentance will solve them. Contrition is no more helpful to fixing society than looking at the floodwaters and winds and falling to your knees to pray and blame someone/something for them.

Don Hall 8/20/18 Don Hall 8/20/18

I Believe… [I Would've Taped Those Meetings, Too]

…that, while I’m no fan of Omarosa, it is fun watching her troll Trump in ways that make the Oval Office seem even more like a telenova.

Don Hall 8/13/18 Don Hall 8/13/18

I Believe... [And The Statuette Goes To Justin Bieber]

...that it was just a matter of time before the Academy Awards morphed into the MTV Movie Awards. “And the Oscar for Best Onscreen Kiss goes to...”

Don Hall 8/6/18 Don Hall 8/6/18

I Believe… [Embracing Your Emotional Superpower]

...that, when being forced to work with a former assistant who demonstrated mendacity, casual ruthlessness and generally low character in the past, being someone capable of compartmentalizing emotions and reactions is like a fucking superpower.

Don Hall 7/30/18 Don Hall 7/30/18

I Believe… [Things I Can Do Without]

…that, aside from venereal disease and being centipeded to someone who only eats Taco Bell, I can't think of almost anything I'd want less than a foldable smartphone.

Don Hall 7/23/18 Don Hall 7/23/18

I Believe... [WOLVERINES!]

...that Patrick Swayze wouldn't put up with this Russia bullshit.

Don Hall 7/16/18 Don Hall 7/16/18

I Believe… [Auto Insurance is a Scam]

…that the idea of insurance is a great one but the reality of getting your parked car hit by a drunk kid in his mom's truck with scam insurance and then having to negotiate the value of your car with your own insurance company that has determined the cosmetic damage is too costly to fix so fuck it, it's a total loss, we'll settle with you for a third of the resale value of the car is not so fucking great.

Don Hall 7/9/18 Don Hall 7/9/18

I Believe… ["Abolish ICE" at the Statue of Liberty is How We Should Be Resisting]

…that the protest of Therese Patricia Okoumou on the foot of the Statue of Liberty is an example of a strategic protest. The perfect symbolism, the perfect message, and it didn't require thousands of people staycationing for a couple of hours with clever signs.

Don Hall 7/2/18 Don Hall 7/2/18

I Believe… [The Hippie Enclave Will Protect Us From The Neo-Adolf]

…that America will never go the way of Nazi Germany if, for no other reason, Germany didn't have a one of the world's largest land masses completely inhabited by hippies and artists to push back. We have California. On the other hand, Hitler never had the fertile ground of regressive hate that is Florida.

Don Hall 6/25/18 Don Hall 6/25/18

I Believe… [Don't Underestimate the Machine]

...that the reason TrumpCo went ahead and treated immigrants at the border like animals in cages was to distract us while they tried to roll back Medicaid. Underestimating these assholes is exactly how they got in there in the first place.